I guesse you could say my child-hood was normal,but if you did you would be lying;but I lie to myself every minute of everyday.My past is not one of playing in fields or with others.Hide and seek were only mere wants and longings;a way to escape and feel normal,but I tried my hardest to presume a childs life. I would try to race others home,but all would deny me this simple joy,they would near my house,the house of jail widow.That was my mothers name around town,for she had not beed widowed from death,but from my father being sent to jail.I can not recall the reason for his incariration,i was too young to remember him,but I asked about him often.My mothers face would always harden and she would just stand there,not saying a word.The silence bothered me so I would only walk away,but as soon as I was gone she began to move again.I have never learned my fathers name.

I do realize the story of my past is a long tattered one,memories that are in black and white and fuzzy.I merely remember words,lost and found;I remember my brother however in perfect clarity. I can remember every smile and laugh we shared,every broken promise and word.I can remember a time in which I trusted him beyond life,he was my rolde-model.He looked after me when my mother drank herself to sleep.Those nights still stand in my head.I could hear her crying,smashing things and the gulping sound of the bottle,and then it would get quite.Unlike most children school was my saving grace.It was the only time I felt normal,but life could only get harder for myself.

I can still here my mothers soothing voice singing to me,trying to make it ok.These are memories I want to hold onto,but it seems they are hidden away,that only the bad and dark ones surface. The joyful ones lay hidden beneath all the darkness,andI have found more of the dark I am walking into.

I will not bore you with the details of my change from human to demon;I am demon now and my family dead and gone,so time to start over.Even though the source of my pain is no longer here the pain still grows,so in order to not give into my darkside,in order to not take a life I have taken part in street fighting.It's a brutal sport,but I enjoy it.I can let out my agression out,I can punish the body of another and have no consequences coming back on me.I know it's wrong,but I enjoy the pain put on the others,I've been told I have a sickness.One that envelops me and controls me,but life could have never been better.Nothingwas going wrong,I was on a neutral ground.

And then came a girl.